A life like Alice

...everyone's an expert! Apparently there are more working days lost to some kind of back pain in the UK than any other condition (not that I've conducted any kind of reliable research) so it goes without saying that a lot of people have experienced back pain.  So I understand that when people find out I have back pain, then they want to let me know "I've had that too!”  But it is intensely irritating when they then proceed to tell you how to cope, how to cure, how to avoid said pain.  I don't want to seem ungrateful for the advice, but I don’t remember asking for it! You may be reading this now thinking "what a hypocrite! She'd doing the exact same thing!" And yes, I suppose I am aiming to offer some kind of (albeit paltry) advice.  But let me just highlight that although I have experienced my back problem, I do not claim to be an expert. I only hope that someone going through the same thing may find some comfort in knowing that I went through it...

Prior to going into hospital I didn’t really know what to expect. And I dealt with the fear of the unknown by consigning myself to the belief that “everything would be fine”.  Prior to the actual operation date, it felt as if I had to do lots.  I was compensating for the fact that for a few weeks after the op, my life would be different, slower and perhaps even difficult.  I entered a mode of organisation, making sure everything was dealt with prior to surgery.  In my mind, everyday tasks became insurmountable, overwhelming tasks post-op.  The operation loomed like an angry parent at the end of a long and tiring Parents’ Evening: I raced to “get everything done” before I was incapacitated by the horrors of the hospital experience.  It wasn’t until other people kept bringing up the subject of being operated on that I silently came to the conclusion that “everything might not end up fine”. It was like reverse psychology.  The more friends and f...

I have always prided myself on being fiercely (almost savagely) independent.  Emotionally, financially, physically.  Of course it would be easier, and less stressful, to have someone to depend upon for support in a number on ways, but circumstances have hardened me, forced me to become dependent on only me.  I live alone, a fair distance away from my closest friends and family.  The job market is not forgiving for those who want to stay put in one little five mile radius; I have had to move.  And move I have done many times.  This has ever improved my ability to self-serve.  Don’t get the wrong impression! I am not a Miss Havisham type; jilted by her man and nursing an inner grudge which destroys any chance of being stable with someone else by her side. Yes, I have not chosen to be alone, but modern life has dictated that, if I want any kind of career or sense of achievement, I have had to place full attention on this aspect of my identity, perhaps l...

In the last year I have dealt with the effects of having developed two prolapsed discs in my lower back.  I had no idea what impact this would have on my life and have had to change and adapt in ways that I could not have anticipated.   In the next few posts I will explore my journey through back pain, as pretentious as it sounds, in an attempt to get my thoughts out there that may even help others with similar experiences.  Enjoy my pain! 

Having never really written a blog before (although I've always wanted to) I don't really know how to introduce my blog to the cyber-world. I just aim to write about what I like, what affects me and my thoughts on life in general! I'm not promising excitement, or even interesting, but I will enjoy the cathartic process of writing so I hope whoever reads my ramblings enjoy them too!